Since we last went to mediation i have attempted to build bridges with Laura and her family as i know the current situation is of benefit to no one. I offered to have a meeting with her parents and her in their family home, noting to her father that we haven't once sat down and discussed the situation once since the saga began. And i wrote a genuine heartfelt email to Laura, in which i referenced the great 5 years we spent together and admitted my previous mistakes regarding spiky emails etc, and how i am ready to leave the anger behind and move forward. Both were ignored, her dad simply confirming the date of next weeks meeting [i went through her dad and said i will stay the full 2 hours] and Laura simply not responding at all [although as she admitted last week her dad vets her emails so perhaps she didn't see it

i have been trying to get into Laura's mindset and to try and understand why she would be so against me and Campbell having a relationship and i came to two conclusions

1- Laura believes herself to be entitled to be Campbells one and only protector having gave up the following for him when she left and went to her parents when he was 2 weeks old

her husband
her home
her job
her friends
in essence her current lifestyle

she believes that having essentially given all that up for him she has earned the right, that she is entitled to behave in the way she is currently doing and that her prize for such a selfless act is total control of Campbell. I would like to impress on her that it isn't a selfless act at all, yet a most selfish one as she continues to deprive Campbell of his father and an extended family that love him unconditionally

Lauras parents constant reassurance [which she admitted she craves and needs] of what a great mother she is only strengthening her belief thats she is the only one capable of caring for him and is building further walls between me and her and therefore me and Campbell. With every passing week of me not seeing him will only harden her resolve on this matter

this leads on to my second point, she has invested too much. Having given up the aforementioned things she has created a life in which Campbell is all dominating. The thought of giving him up 50% of the time or even as little as one night a week, cannot be comprehended as it would leave an unimaginable void in her life. She has created an existence where he is everything and any time parted from him absolutely petrifies her. She doesn't see me as worthy of being involved and created such a hole in here life

This has lead to her to putting herself on a pedestal way above me in relation to Campbell and has cultivated her current attitude of refusing to engage with me at all. I just need to her to be aware that her reasons and feelings towards me cannot continue to harm the relationship between me and Campbell



I genuinely believe we can make progress in mediation, it just concerns me whether we will have adequate time before we end up back in court. I think engaging Laura in a discussion with considered the points made above will be a move forward in our progression

Both SPIP and your notes mention how important communication is and for whatever reason that communication is not forthcoming from Laura's end. If we can begin to communicate like adults i am certain the situation will rapidly improve and hopefully result in us not going to court

Thanks for taking the time to read of my concerns and i hope it will help the situation. I am already looking forward to next wednesday and am positive we can progress and make plans for the future having vented our anger about previous events

Many thanks
Calum